DeMerse's book# 4: The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

The Five People You Meet in Heaven is a very quick and easy book to read. It is about Eddie, an elderly maintenance man at an amusement park. Every day is routine and boring and Eddie feels that he has done nothing with his life. On his 83rd birthday he dies while trying to save a little girl from a malfunctioned ride. When he arrives in heaven he meets five people who have influenced his life. Some were people he barely remembered and some he had never even met. They teach him lessons and help him realize the impact he had made in the lives of other. While in heaven Eddie Learns that we are all connected and the importance of love, forgiveness, and sacrifice. TFPYMIH is a nice story that helped remind me that everything we do affects other people and I hope to be more aware of that in the future. And the forgiveness thing...I really need to work on that one ;-)

V's Pick #35: The Lost Girls by Baggett, Corbett and Pressner

This is the longest book I've read in quite a while...weighing in at over 500 pages, it took me about a week and a half (with many breaks to read articles for my thesis) but it was worth every second.

Having missed the Ireland/Scotland trip my two best girls (Heather and DeMerse) took in Dec-Jan of 2007/8 and having passed up countless other opportunities to plan trips based on finances, life, school and work, this book was an example to me of what *could* happen if I ever bit the winged bullet and headed overseas with my two favorite ladies.

From sunrises in Peru to surfing in Australia, to the beaches of Goa, an ashram in India and the killing fields in Vietnam, the year these three late twentysomethings took from their fast-pased and stressful NYC lives is proof that when you're on the road, home truly is where your heart (and your backpack) is.

Currently landlocked with writing a thesis and living off my student loans for the summer, I have no sights of major travel, international or otherwise, on my horizon. However, rather than depress me, this book, told equally by all three women, made me feel energized - how much they did, saw, felt, tasted - was up to them. I feel the same is true in all of our lives, regardless of if it's a matter of the destination from our daily commute or a day trip; what you get is what you give, try and do. Reading their tale reminded me to suck the juices from the days a little more slowly. Today, for instance, I tried 'chipping' at the driving range for the first time and as it turns out, I'm pretty good at it! Who would have thought that years ago in middle school, I felt the women on the golf team were miles beyond me...

Holly, Jen and Amanda (yes, after 500 pages and stories about parasites, I'm on first-name basis territory) all left something. For Holly, it was her long-term perfect boyfriend and their shared apartment in the city. For Jen, it was her 'shit or get off the pot' 3-year relationship which she was dreading a proposal from (but in which she stayed because she was terrified of being alone). For Amanda, it was her complete inability to do anything aside from work feverishly in her publishing job, forsaking her social life and health in the process.

When they decided to take the trip, they knew there would be risks and since they were all in their own ways so unsure of where they wanted to go in life, they knew those risks might result in some of the very things that happened to them along the way. They dubbed themselves "The Lost Girls" not because they expected to be 'found' on the road (well, not all of them anyway) but because they felt their plight of indecision about their home-lives (marriage? kids? better job? different city? happiness?) was akin to what just about every twentysomething goes through during their first job after college. They couldn't be more right about that!

Along the way through the travelogue, you get a chance to learn about each woman as she learns about herself which I liked; despite the writing occurring mostly after their travels, they've done an amazing job making it all feel in-the-moment. There's Jen - who will jump off of, eat or do anything once...as long as she's not alone. There's Holly, who's totally broke but still finds money (and space in her bag) for some of the most hilariously crazy trinkets, can't go a day without makeup and literally runs circles around everyone she meets while trying to find faith. And there's Amanda who experiences some serious work-withdrawls, disagreements and ultimately, in my mind, comes the farthest in being less "lost" by the end of the trip. I truly found a piece of myself in each of the three women and found my aforementioned girls in each of them as well.

My only point of hesitation in the reading of The Lost Girls was that at first I was put off with HOW they were able to do this, financially - I did NOT want to read about three rich girls trotting around the globe. As I read on (which I'm so glad I did) I found that my initial assumptions couldn't have been more wrong: like most of us would have to do to take a year off, they gave up comfort, security and sometimes even safety to have a realistic budget. They also went into debt and risked 'career suicide', proving just another way their trip was truly real...and while lost, they all gained a lot more than they spent.

Post-book, they have a pretty neat blog full of travel tips, etc: http://www.lostgirlsworld.com.

DeMerse's book# 3: The Confessions of Max Tivoli by Andrew Sean Greer

I can't say that I hated this book but I can't say that I really liked it either. There were times that I liked the writing style and other times I didn't. There were parts of the story that I liked and others that I didn't. I guess that goes for a lot of books but unlike other books, I was always (and I do mean always) irritated with the main character, Max Tivoli (a.k.a. Asgar Van Daler, a.k.a. Hughie). Max was born with a disease that caused his body to age backwards. I thought this would make his character sympathetic or endearing but he was just so self-centered that I quickly lost any affection towards him. Since the book was written in first person, it didn't allow for other character development which is a shame.
When Max wasn't thinking about himself he was obsessing over Alice. Because of his tunnel vision he pushed away the only people who truly knew and cared about him. Max first met Alice when she was 14 and he was 17. Unfortunately he looked like he was in his early 50s so there was no hope for a relationship to blossom. They met again when they were both in their 30s. Somehow she did not recognize him so he reinvented himself and began courting her. They eventually parted and did not come back together until Max was in his late 50s (in the body of a 12 year old boy). Alice, of course, didn't recognize him and adopted him.
I read other reviews that talked about a 'heartbreaking love story'...blah blah blah. I thought it was creepy how he kept weaseling his way into her life over and over again.

Sometimes I hate first person...I wish I knew Alice's reaction when she found out that Max, Asgar, and Hughie were all the same person.

V's Pick #34: The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson

I've never read anything by Thompson before (although I loved Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as a film) and I'm not sure I'm glad I began with this one. The Rum Diary was written when Thompson was in his early twenties - it was his first book and while it doesn't read like a first novel, I'm also not sure it captured, for me at least, what I was expecting from when I know about him as an artist.

My friend Richard was obsessed with Thompson for a handful of months two summers ago - he read this, Fear, a few other titles and a collection or two of his letters entitled The Proud Highway which alone totals in around 650+ pages all in the course of a few weeks - which had him speaking in Hunterisms for at least 2 months prior. TRD was by far his favorite and since we usually have pretty similar taste in books, maybe I went into reading this wanting too much from it. I figured if this was his favorite out of all that Thompson, I would love it too.

I *liked* the book but I did not love it.  I found it easy to read and as I posted on Facebook a few chapters in, it really is "the perfect summer book." However, I also found it easy to put down. In fact, I even left it in John's car for almost two days and didn't really miss it. I don't usually notice when a writer is writing for a certain gender, but it was very clear to me that this book was meant for a largely male audience - there's a lot of observation, the only action is either sex or fighting and of course, there's a lot of rum. Now, despite womanhood, I enjoy reading about all of those things, but not wholly in the way Thompson delivers them here. As a journalist, both in character and in his personal life, The Rum Diary reads more like a newspaper column than a novel. Perhaps he did that on purpose, considering journalists make up about 98.5% of the characters in the novel or perhaps it's just evident of his pre-Gonzo writing style...the beginning of the end in terms of standard prose.

The shakedown: read this for a quick intro to Thompson's life work, read this if you're going to Puerto Rico, read this if you're into journalism/journalists/newspapers and absolutely read this if you're into drinking fiction. There's a lot of rum and for such a masculine book, there's not nearly enough sex. My favorite thing about the book - it was short and I think it did represent the only period of innocence Thompson probably lived.

V's Pick #33: Marry Him by Lori Gottlieb

I picked this up in the library and tore into it the minute I got home - Gottlieb is hilarious and her writing style is sort of like a smarter and more irreverent Carrie - reading her is like listening to a girlfriend who's finally got it together. More so though, in this book, she speaks volumes about the struggle many women our age (and apparently well beyond) go through with dating. In her early forties, having had a child two years ago via artificial insemination, Gottlieb isn't bitter and angry, rather, she's confused...and finally willing to admit that the reason she's never been married is not because there aren't good men out there, but because she's been looking for the wrong things.

I'd be lying if I didn't mention that I found myself in some of her musings and her particular personal struggle is similar to that which one of my closest girlfriend has been battling for the last two years with a man whom she was engaged to, then just dating and now, just living with as a roommate. My friend, we'll call her Flower, is sort of Lori, twenty years prior and this book is directly written for women in her spot.

Lori likes the bad boys - and by that, I don't mean motorcycle-riding, drug-taking, violent men, rather, pretty men who are artistic, a little unstable, won't commit, are SO much fun and truly like her...but will never love her (nor her them, for as she reminds us, lust is not love, passion is not a future and fun is relative). That's all fine and dandy, except Lori has wanted to settle down for most of her adult life...now, with a toddler, more than ever, she wants a man who values family, wants to be married, etc...but she can't stop being attracted to and going for the men who will NEVER get there with her. This book is her quest to figure out WHY this is the case and to fix her priorities to the point where she can finally see past the surface and into more suitable men.

As she takes her readers through speed-dating, science, online profiles, blind dates, matchmaking, counseling, and stories/advice of countless happily married couples, Lori herself finds answers to some of the questions and never fails to admit the feelings of hopelessness, loneliness and disappointment all of this brings up inside; she's self-reflective and earnest, which even in her moments of somewhat annoying back-peddling, makes her not only likeable but relateable.

So, what does she find? For a woman who wants a family, the married life, and comfort through the years, she's been dating as if she'll always be wanted by men (not the case - as she explains, once we're out of our early 30s, it literally is all downhill from there) and letting GOOD men go because they weren't "exciting" or "mysterious" enough. She explains that feelings of nausea while waiting for the phone to ring isn't love, nor will it lead to a happy relationship. She explains that pretty men who are interesting and alpha are NOT what women should shoot for when they're looking to settle down and she urges every woman to not pass up a guy because of the superficial things - the way he dresses, lack of things in common, corny jokes, height, lack of artistic talent, etc. A good example comes from a friend of hers who was dating a great guy who wanted the same things she did...except she was an avid rock-climber who read serious novels and he liked to work on his car and watch sports. Her friend almost ended it because she couldn't imagine being with someone who didn't share those two interests...but through the process of dating this man, her friend realized what was actually important was that this man never stopped her from doing those things, always wanted to hear about the books she was into and even tried to rock-climb with her. They found things they could share - like raising their child, going to church, politics, etc. Lori gives an example of her friend Andrew who she turned down years prior because she didn't think he was "deep" enough for her...who ended up marrying a woman who was less deep than even he was and who is now an avid reader and even a writer. She was so focused on dating pretty men who fit the IMAGE of who she thought would make her happy that she passed up a man who literally had all the qualities that really, scientifically, equate long-term happiness: shared values, compatible personalities, humor, friendship, etc.

Prior to John, I never pictured myself with a guy who wasn't an alpha-male, who wasn't the guy who lit up the party, dressed like he could walk of the streets of NYC and who wasn't an artist or thinker of some-sort. To be honest, I'm not even sure how it happened that I was able to look past some of these things enough to see John for who he is...and maybe it was during the time when I dated some of those men and remained friends with John, that I started to see that he wasn't an artist per se, but is incredibly artistic (a way better painter than me, a guitar player and an amazing digital designer), that he wasn't an alpha-male, but is instead, a caring and adaptable companion who truly is happy to allow me to lead (which I like to do anyway)...and as far as the baggy pants...before we were together, I never knew that he loved to wear ties, dresses amazingly when he goes to work even though his office allows them to wear jeans, has incredible taste in regard to design and will try anything once, including taking direction from me about this or that in regard to fashion. He is truly one of those "nice guys" and I am thankful every day for being able to see past some of the surface to find true connection and attraction that is deeper and more alive than any of those exciting and slightly tortured men I usually liked.

Lori reminded me of why I am in love with John on a deeper level - the way he treats waiters, the way he loves my cat, doesn't flinch when I get into my own "alpha woman" mode and calms me down like a warm cup of tea; he's not the most out-going guy but when he warms up to you, he is indeed the person who gets everyone laughing, and despite a level of shyness, he never shies away from a new experience, food, or a social venue. Lori reminded me that baggy pants, height, hair or an affinity for video games, beer and sports doesn't mean someone isn't also a thinker, a feeler and a creative soul. I never thought I would be happy with a man who watches SportsCenter before bed, but living with him I've found that I enjoy that time because I like to read before bed - something other men have never understood. And learning about Wilt Chamberlin or going to a baseball game is just as, if not more so, interesting than being with someone who's always talking about poetry. John asks me to read my writing to him and he'll listen to me talk about a book for an hour if I need to. While studying for my comp exam, he was my number one conversation partner about composition theory. For what he lacks as a voracious reader (it'll take him a month or two to finish a book), he makes up for in being able to read me.

This book made me all the more thankful for the decisions I've made being with John and she also makes me very aware of the mistakes I made prior to him; in that, this book is essential for any single woman who finds herself going through man after man without finding what she needs as well as for women in relationships who find themselves sometimes wishing their partner matched some of the superficial things they thought (or think) they need. Beyond that, it's a pretty hilarious read and would make a great gift for the girlfriend in your life who is busy passing up a good man for the challenge of a wrong one.

Pam's Book 20: Amy and Isabelle

Amy and Isabelle, by Elizabeth Strout (author of Olive Kitteridge) is maybe the third book I've actually completed for my book club (on time) in as many years. I guess it helped that I already fell madly in love with Elizabeth Strout's writing.

We find out early on that Isabelle's daughter Amy has committed some shameful act, probably with her math teacher, Mr. Robertson. (There's going to be a little spoilage going on here, so if you don't want to know, stop reading now.) What I loved most about this book is how believable the characters and events are. As a teacher (and a onetime teenager), I find it hard to imagine how a relationship between teacher and student can go so far down the wrong road. Yet, as we get to know Amy throughout the story, I see exactly why she chose to begin a relationship with Mr. Robertson. Most telling, perhaps, is the fact that she continues to address--and think about--him as Mr. Robertson, no matter how far their relationship progresses.

It disturbed me immensely throughout the book how much blame Isabelle placed on her daughter Amy for the perceived shame caused by the discovery of Amy and Mr. Robertson. Clearly, Amy is the victim here. Why would Isabelle direct so much anger toward her, instead of at the older authority figure who took advantage of a shy girl with little self-esteem. Somehow, though, by the end, it all makes sense. This story isn't told laterally; instead Strout shifts easily and seamlessly between the past and present in order to give the reader the clearest sense of how one affects the other.

I am madly, madly in love with Elizabeth Strout.

Erin's Book #15: Shanghai Girls by Lisa See

Since I adored Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, I naturally wanted to read Lisa See's follow-up, Shanghai Girls. I knew she had her work cut out for her to create another story as engaging and fascinating as Snow Flower.

At first, I was disappointed, thinking that the story of Pearl and her sister May in no way lived up to Snow Flower's. The novel begins in Shanghai in the 1930s. Pearl and May, 21 and 18, lead a privileged life in the Paris of Asia. They work as "beautiful girls", wearing beautiful dresses and posing for hot artists who create advertisements, staying out late and enjoying Shanghai's nightlife. I found this mildly interesting at best.

Unfortunately for Pearl and May, but fortunately for the reader, this life of luxury doesn't last. The war is beginning, which Pearl and May have been oblivious to, selfishly and naively focusing on their own glamorous lives, while they step over dying people in the street. But events transpire that force them to give up everything they've known and find the strength they didn't know they had.

Much like in Snow Flower, I was transported to a different world - first of war-torn China, then of World War II-era Los Angeles. I hadn't realized the discrimination the Chinese faced in America during this time and was fascinated to learn of LA's Chinatown, which was essentially created as a tourist attraction, and yet was the place these immigrants (many illegal) called home. It was the only place they could attend school and rent apartments.

I don't want to reveal too much of the story, but I really enjoyed this book. The story is very compelling, especially in the ways the characters evolve, as they grow to love and defend the very things they were trying to run from. The book is filled with real tragedy, mixed in with the happiness the girls create.

I found the end somewhat unfulfilling. Perhaps it was because I was expecting more based on the remaining pages in the book, but I felt the end was a little abrupt, although it does come full circle in an interesting way.

While I didn't like this as much as Snow Flower, I would definitely recommend it.